Challenge
by Ketsi-aiita-n
Summary: Seto makes a bet with Joey. Dub names! Madness ensues. One shot.


**Challenge**

Ketsi: This is a really pointless story.

Helen: It came from a) watching Seto and Joey duel in the anime at about two in the morning and b) receiving far too much doujin from Rachie-san. She's a fiend, that one.

Ketsi: It's a PWP - the PG type. Yes, all of my regular "anything with a rating of 16 or higher is good" readers should leave now. This has only vague mentions of ANYTHING, ever, and you need to have the right mindset to understand. So the seven year olds on this site are fine.

Helen: Disclaimer. Like you need one of these now? I don't own YuGiOh, (more fool me) and I don't own anything mentioned in this story (again, put yourself into the correct mindset).

Ketsi: They have English names because it was far to confusing to use 'Anzu' when 'Téa' was being said on TV. Yami and Yugi are one. Yami is allowed to be in hysterics because this is my story, and I apologise for Tristan's comment about Joey. This is not a Joey-bashing fic, even though I find it terribly fun.

Helen: And Rachie-san would murder us if we ever properly Joey-bashed.

Ketsi: Point.

Helen: The idea of the Red Eyes jet, though I would love it to be mine, is probably not, as there are people who've been fans far longer than me who've probably come up with it first. To those people, I bow down and go 'praise you, oh mighty fans', and also ask if the Pharaoh's Memory Arc has been dubbed yet.

Ketsi: If you know any of this, then please tell. We are in desperate need of Egyptian Bakura and Seto with the entertaining hat.

And so, the story begins.

-.- -.- -.- -.- -.- Depressed little faces. -.- -.- -.- -.- -.-

Seto narrowed his eyes at the blonde duellist dressing before him.

"I've got a challenge for you, Pup."

Joey looked up. "What's that, Master?" he relished that word. Their relationship was a dire secret from everyone else, and Joey had to refrain from saying that in front of the others.

"If you can beat me in our next duel, I'll let you be Seme."

Joey's eyes widened. "You mean it?"

"Of course. Simply because I know you won't win."

The blonde growled. "That's what you think. But…what if you win? And I mean _if_."

"_When_ I win, you have a surprise in store for you."

Joey smiled. "Can't wait."

-.- -.- -.- -.- -.- Depressed little faces. -.- -.- -.- -.- -.-

It wasn't long before the challenge began. The week wasn't over before, for some reason or another, Seto and Yami were thrown into a duel. But before it could begin, Seto caught Joey's eye and the blonde interrupted.

"Yug, I'm gonna have to stop you. Me and moneybags have something to work out."

Yami raised his eyebrow, but nodded, keeping quiet for once.

"I'm so gonna beat you, Richboy."

"That's what you think."

As the two prepared for the duel, glances were exchanged between the others present.

"Anybody else feel like they've missed something?" Tristan asked.

"I'm not sure," Téa replied. "But there seems to be something between those two."

"Perhaps we should just watch and see what happens," Yami said.

"Yeah, people end up saying some stupid stuff when they duel. I mean, take you, Yugi. You end up talking to yourself almost every time."

Yami glared at Tristan, but said nothing. Beside him, Yugi was cursing under his breath.

"You have no idea what losing this duel will cost you, Wheeler." Kaiba was struggling not to grin, sticking to his usual triumphant smirk.

Joey quite happily grinned Seto, glad his back was turned from his friends. "Oh, you just wait, Kaiba. You just wait for me to win this, then you'll be…" he trailed off, reminded of his friends' presence by the cheers from Téa.

"Come on, Joey! You can beat him, no problem!"

"No he can't," Tristan said. "I don't think Joey's ever beaten him." He paused a moment. "Joey sucks."

Téa hit him.

"Hear that, Wheeler? Even your friends know you're going to lose."

"Don't worry, Kaiba. I'll kill Tristan once I beat you."

"Well, I'm sure he's looking forward to a long and prosperous life then."

Joey growled.

"That's more like it. Growling like a dog."

Joey bit his lip, torn between yelling and laughing. There was no way he'd get through this duel. "Ten minutes."

Seto frowned, then looked at what Joey was mouthing. 'Ten minutes before they guess.' "No. Five minutes."

"Less."

"Are they talking in code or something?" Téa asked.

Yami looked confused. "Can you go over there and see if there's something we're missing?"

Yugi thought for a moment. "Probably."

"Are you going?"

"Yes."

"Hurry up then."

"I'm going! I'm not Sonic the freaking Hedgehog."

Yami watched Yugi walk over and sit on Seto's side of the field.

_Anything?_ Yami asked through their mind link, not wanting to yell across the field and come across as even weirder.

_Wait, dammit._

The two began to duel, and as the authoress is completely unable to write the duelling part, we'll just pretend we know what's going on. So far, Joey is already down to 3500, and Seto still has 4000.

"Look at that. I'm winning. Nothing new there."

"You don't always win. You lose to Yugi every time."

Seto glowered at him. "I wasn't talking about duelling, Wheeler."

"I know."

"Yugi could never beat me there, could he?"

"No." Joey's voice was quieter, and slightly breathy. No-one except Yugi and Seto saw the word he mouthed afterwards.

Yami burst out laughing when Yugi returned and told him what he said. "I knew it!"

Tristan and Téa edged away.

Joey raised an eyebrow. "What just happened?"

"I think Yugi just figured something out," Seto replied, and Joey attacked while Seto was distracted, leaving them equal with 3500.

"You'll pay for that, Pu – Mutt. Mutt. Not Puppy."

"Smooth, Kaiba."

"As if it matters," he replied, bringing Joey's life points down to 2900. "But you losing to me – that matters. And what I'm going to do once I win…that matters too."

"You wouldn't have made that bet if you didn't want the chance for me to be … win."

Seto smirked again. "Or perhaps I just wanted to make you lose for another reason."

"What you plannin', Moneybags?"

"That would be telling."

Téa and Tristan looked at each other, exchanging worried looks. "Are they talking about what I think they're talking about?" Tristan asked.

"I really hope not."

Yami smirked. "If you're thinking what I think you're thinking, then I think you're right."

"When I win," Joey said determinedly, taking more life points from Seto, "You're gonna hurt so bad."

"Because you're incompetent? Of course."

"No, because I'm that good."

Téa whimpered. Tristan looked terrified. Yami's smile grew. Yugi was laughing, but nobody saw that.

Seto and Joey didn't seem to be putting much effort into the duel, but more into the argument. They took life points at even intervals, hardly using more than a few cards each turn.

"You're losing on purpose!"

"I'm certainly not. I'm simply distracted by – you." He stared at Joey as he took more life points. "You have no idea what … things…I have planned for you."

Joey paused. "I don't think I wanna know."

"Yes you do, you little masochist."

"Look, Kaiba, that collar is a one-off thing, nothing else."

"The hell, Pup. You know you love it. I've seen you online, on the fetish… sites…" both turned to see Yami in hysterics, Téa passed out cold on the floor and Tristan looking like he had been cornered by an angry bear.

"I think they've figured it out," Joey said.

"Really?" Seto asked sarcastically."

"Your fault!"

Seto didn't reply, he was smiling. "Well, Pup, if they know, we can finish this quickly and I'll just show you what I have in store."

Before Joey could answer, Seto took his remaining life points.

"No way."

"Yes. Now, if you want to come with me, there will be a delivery waiting for us back at the mansion."

Joey opened his mouth to argue, but gave up and followed Seto, looking more like a kicked puppy than ever.

Seto stopped and looked back at the three spectators. "Hey, pup, want to give that lot more to go on than our conversation?"

Joey narrowed his eyes, then smirked and nodded, submitting to a harsh kiss from the brunette.

Tristan gave a girly scream and collapsed in an unconscious heap.

Yami stopped laughing just long enough to ogle the two kissing, then spotted Tristan and carried on laughing.

"Alright then, puppy. Your choice. Blue Eyes or Red Eyes jet?"

"Red Eyes."

Set said something into the little microphone built into his coat (but by who? We may never know.) and the big, metallic version of Joey's favourite dragon descended from the sky. Seto had bought it as a birthday present for Joey, despite his birthday being months away. Joey suspected Seto was just flaunting his cash, but then again, Joey had no problem with that when the money was going his way.

-.- -.- -.- -.- -.- Depressed little faces. -.- -.- -.- -.- -.-

Ketsi: And so, the PWP of evilness ends.

Helen: I swear I'll never subject you to it ever again.

Ketsi: (Hides from Rabid Rachie) The whole 'Joey sucks' thing…we've discussed this before, right? And we said he was the best afterwards! Don't kill me!

Rachie: (eats Ketsi)


End file.
